Growing Pains

The Dinner

As I sat to eat underneath the soft glow of the chandelier light, my plate was filled with a hearty serving of everything that sticks to your bones. Fall off the bone ribs, sweet corn and even a glob of mashed potatoes. All of these servings (practically full meals within themselves) seemed to have the opposite perception as the view that my classmates and school have of me. None of them conformed to the stereotypes of a preppy white kid going to a preppy, almost ‘Pleasantville’ like school.
While dinner was served and my father began to talk almost immediately the room was filled with an audible shriek of disgust. “Why would you ever move away from South Carolina?” came out of the mouth of my 86 year old fun-loving grandmother. The situation was tense, my dad moved away when he was 16 and never looked back, the tensions are still hot in my family despite him being now 56 years old with his own company. “I had my reasons” responds my dad (in probably the most polite tone I have ever heard him talk). He stands up, turns around and throws his plate in the sink, does another 180 and walks outside to light up a cigarette. As the awkwardness fills the room one by one we all leave the table and head our separate ways simply because no one knows what to say to one another… is this going to be the split of our family?

The Plane Ride

The plane ride was short, two hours and we found ourselves from our tropical house in Florida to a muddy street. “Flight 263 has arrived in Greenville, South Carolina” we hear a raspy voice say over the intercom in the jetway. My dad was already here, he had been working on his parents house for the past 2 weeks and he knew he was nowhere near done, which is why he called me to help. I call my father to come pick me up from the airport “two more hours” he responds. Great, now I’m stuck in a small regional airport until he decides to come save me. I walk over to the airport lounge and take a nap, seemingly quickly I get woken up by my father, covered in dirt and as sweaty as ever.
As I arrive at his parents house in Fountain Inn, we quickly get to work. The first thing to do for our “vacation” is to fix their AC unit. The whole vacation ended up to be bickering and arguing despite a very melodramatic tone from my father. As soon as the sweat dripped off of us and we were finally dry, my dad was then asked to cook dinner

The Outspoken

Despite being my motherly/loving figure I quickly found out that she has strong opinions against me. I had been told by her my whole life that no matter who I was or what I become I would forever be her son and she would forever love me as much as possible. As soon as I sat down for dinner there was an immediate awkwardness in the room. I came out to my father the day before but he promised me he wouldn’t tell my mother. Finally, after watching me slowly pick up my food and eat, she opened her mouth. The words seemed to come like bullets. Despite being a simple and non intrusive sentence “What makes you feel that way?” My mouth dropped and my response was short “I just always have.” That answer was not the right one. The room fell silent and my dad just looked down at his plate. His tone towards my ultimate fate shifted. All of a sudden the loving figure turned against me.
Once dinner was finally over I made the escape into my room alone, shoved my head in my pillow and simply just relaxed. In what seemed like the shortest eternity later my mother finally knocked on my door. This time she seemed apologetic, her inflection was changed completely. We talked and eventually she gained “acceptance” of it. There’s only so much you can do to change your family’s opinions.

Talking at Night

We talked at night. He was accepting yet I could still see a little bit of disgust in his eye. How could his son be this way? The one he raised to share his beliefs? It dumbfounded him. He looked like he was going to cry but the way that he spoke showed full support. He knew that there was nothing he could do so inevitably he had to accept it. “Don’t come out at school, or to family” he cried, pleading with me. I believed him and let the thoughts and ideas of myself sink into me without any actual feeling of completeness.
We spoke for hours, talking about life, where I want to go, my hobbies and passions, everything. As he considered everything and who I’ve grown up to be, that must have been where the true impression hit him. He realized that I am still his son. I still love old cars, I still love getting my hands dirty and working and having a good time that same ways that he did when he was a kid, we just share different ideas.

Carolina Crown

It was finally the day of the show. I left early, got to meet my friends at Celebration in High School in Celebration Florida (about five minutes from Disney). Anyhow, the day was hot and we were all exhausted before even walking out to the field. As we continue to talk and hang out I feel an internal pressure thinking of my father and my mother. The fact that such an innocent thing can be portrayed as such an evil wrongdoing by them is a mind boggling fact.
I continued with my day. It grew longer and longer as each corps performed, not only to be lengthened by an almost hour and a half rain delay. Quite frankly, I should have left as I knew a six hour drive back to Tallahassee was coming for me early in the morning, but despite that fact I simply just enjoyed my time and enjoyed living with my long-time friends. We all met through drum corps, an activity that takes place over the summer with 150 of your closest friends. I have yet to do it, as I was too young when I auditioned and too many obstacles came in my way over summers that it simply never worked out. This summer however I do plan to. Anyhow, we watched people performed and watched as my friends took their solos and enjoyed all of it.
As soon as the show ended I called my father. It was a long call, walking to meet with my friends after the encore. For once we just talked about the day, no arguing, no cutting eachother off, just a nice, long conversation. Feelings overwhelmed me, I felt like he didn’t see that what I am could potentially be “wrong” to my family or that he even felt as though it was wrong. He saw my friend’s accomplishments and he saw that, while yes, it is a different culture with different interests and doings it is still the same life as anyone else, with the same struggles and the same jobs. As he expressed his approval and his understanding I finally felt at ease. Sometimes, even when you are hanging with the “right crowd” difference of opinions can still make your family believe that they are brainwashing you or that you are being changed but the truth is quite the opposite. As we hung up, I received a text from him that told me to call him every 30 minutes, that was understandable because at this point it was 2am and I still had a good 6 hour drive ahead of me to get back to Tallahassee. As I stepped in my car, I felt happier than ever.

Continuing the Drive

Finally, I had slept for 4 hours, at this point I was in Tampa, to drop off a friend at home (terrible idea in retrospect, but I think that she really enjoyed the concert and meeting my friends/hanging backstage). I sat up slowly, still tired, I noticed a lady walking outside of my car. My muscles tensed up as something felt off about it, needless to say she just walked in the bank that I was parked outside of and left me alone. All of the windows in my car were covered with a thick sheet of condensation, but needless to say I couldn’t roll down all my windows (Manual windows!). I continued my drive, waiting for the fog to eventually leave. I travelled up I-19 for two hours before running into any issues.
I was going 65 Miles Per Hour in a 60, a 45 Mile Per Hour sign creeped up on me and I was slowing down as a police officer pulled me over immediately after the sign for going 60 in a 45. I wasn’t going to argue with that, he was right, I was going 60 in a 45 but in my mind I was just following the flow of traffic (I’ve gone 80 in a 60 with police officers right next to me travelling the same speed so I didn’t think that travelling with the flow was ticket worthy). Anyhow, I pulled into an old run down gas station, there was no one in it and the sign was about ready to fall down, obviously the pumps were not functional and the pavement was cracked completely.
I was nervous, not because of the police officer pulling me over, but because of the location. It felt like it could potentially turn into the Family Guy episode where they get falsely imprisoned in the middle of nowhere, I know that that sounds irrelevant but that idea and picture was pumping through my mind. As the officer walks up to me he asks me why he pulled me over (the usual) and I explain that I was speeding but I was slowing down, but that ultimately it was my fault because I should have anticipated. I handed him over insurance and my drivers license and registration, I had no worries about anything at this point, he told me he is just giving me a warning. He asked if my license was valid but he’s not going to run it. I explained to him that it wasn’t an issue if he wanted to run it, everything is valid.
This is where it starts gets weird. He gets in his car and just sits there for 15 minutes staring at me. He slowly walks over and says
“As a police officer of Levy County it is my job to stop drugs being trafficked.”
I still am not worrying, then all of a sudden he turns to me and says “Now, son, why do you have a drug possession charge on file?” I was mind blown. I have never, never, gotten arrested for anything, let alone a drug possession charge. He asks me to step out and I comply, then he frisks me and tells me to sit on the curb. The pictures from the funny Family Guy episode are running into my head again. How could something like this ever actually happen to me? My palms were sweaty as I sat there wondering what could be going on. I understood the suspicion, because of the way that I slept my suitcase was in a random place and my backpack was flipped over, it did look a little weird. He continued to search anything, after all, to him I was a criminal. This delayed my trip, I had been sitting on the curb for 30 minutes, it was hot and moist outside but that was the least of my worries.
Eventually he realized that I didn’t have anything in my vehicle, after calling a K9 unit and searching everything very thoroughly. He eventually told me to get in the back of his car. I sat, finally AC. I pleaded with him to run my license one more time. I shouldn’t have had to anyhow, if I did have the charge I would have been falsely detained. I complied. And for once, even though I was faced with dissent by authority, I didn’t cry. I stayed calm and pleaded to run my license one more time. Eventually, the officer agreed and he did. We sat waiting for dispatch to give us the answer. “No charges on Christopher Bernhardt.” The officer began to appear more angry, his eyebrows raising. Using some choice language (and a voice crack) he told me to get back in my vehicle. I quickly walked back to my drivers seat, a few minutes later he walks up. “I’m not going to write you a ticket. I won’t even write a warning, just be safe.” He walks away and I quickly say “Stay safe out there.” He turns around, looking more angry and I just roll up my window. For once, in a moment that seemed in my mind like a transition to manhood, I didn’t cry, I didn’t freak out. I felt a series of emotions flutter through me. I was happy, sad, excited, it seemed like an overload.
Needless to say, I continued on with my drive. The sun visor of my car finally decided to give up and hung halfway down the rest of the trip and the sun seemed to blare into my eyes at the most uncomfortable moments. The roads were bumpy and it felt as though an eternity would go by between small gas stations and houses. Eventually I read a sign, “Tallahassee – 93 Miles”. It felt as though the end was coming close and as I pulled up to the state capitol I could finally relax – I was home. Despite the long drive I was more excited and awake than ever. I grabbed my long-board and quickly arrived (30 minutes prior) to my ENC 1101 class, everyone was there early. I stepped out to call my father and we talked about the whole experience. He explained to me how proud he was of me not only for driving an off roading car for 6 hours on the highway (It’s not designed for that at all) but also facing authority and understanding that they can be wrong too.